


a favorite child of the universe

by karikes



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Mild Angst, Uhura being incredibly done with sexism, kind of hard to explain but the crew does get split up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-07 08:14:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11619555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karikes/pseuds/karikes
Summary: “I’m never going to leave the stars,” she says slowly. She grabs his free hand with her own, interlacing their fingers.“I know that,” Leonard exhales. “I would never ask you to.”Nyota Uhura is the first female captain in Starfleet. Leonard McCoy happens in there somewhere too.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a [lot](https://karikes.tumblr.com/post/160664869855/anaeolist-nyota-as-captain-and-carol-as) of [fanart](https://karikes.tumblr.com/post/163171885324/zhaan-the-episode-of-ent-where-everyone-goes) with [Captain Uhura](https://karikes.tumblr.com/post/162872709190/intergalacticexplorer-star-trek-lady-trek-au) in the last couple of weeks, so the need for it was desperate. 
> 
> There is a [playlist](https://karikes.tumblr.com/post/163381539165/i-poison-nicole-scherzinger-ii-power-little) for kickass Uhura that I made, if you're feeling so inclined. 
> 
> The title of this fic is from [this poem](https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/earth-living-thing).

The recruiters come when she is fourteen. Nyota could go then, but she decides she would rather take her time. She might change her mind later, but she’s young and she just made it official with her first boyfriend, so she’s sticking to her guns for now.

They come again at fifteen and sixteen, and every year after, even though she tells them she wants to wait. They follow her to university, too.

It’s only when they approach her and Teresa (they’ve gone on six dates, and they’ve all been absolutely lovely) that Nyota finally snaps. 

She flicks her hair over her shoulder and rounds on the recruiter they’ve sent this time. He’s taller than her by almost a foot, skin darker than hers and a crew cut so sharp Nyota feels like she could cut her finger on it. Her hand releases Teresa’s and she steps into the man’s personal space.

Her eyes flick over his rank stripes. “Lieutenant Commander, huh? They sent a commander last time.”

“I would advise you to step backwards, Miss Uhura,” the lieutenant commander says. “I’m Lt. Commander Broderick and-”

“I know why you’re here,” Nyota snaps. She inspects her nail polish briefly before her eyes focus on Broderick again. “You can tell your superiors that they’re going to drive me away from Starfleet if they don’t stop harassing me. I’ll be along soon enough. I’m young and I’m finishing my degree first. Now, Lieutenant Commander Broderick, you have permission to quote me on this,” she pauses for effect. “Go fuck yourself.”

Nyota turns to Teresa again, who’s looking at her a little open mouthed. She grasps her hand again and marches away from the opened mouth Broderick.

*

It’s years later, when Broderick actually serves under her, that she finally hears what his superiors said.

“Sir, they seemed to be in shock for close to a full minute before Commander Altair burst out laughing.” Broderick’s hair has gray in it now, but he still holds himself like he is young. “Then he told me we would wait for you to take the entrance exams.”

“It worked, though,” Nyota says, her eyes twinkling. 

“It did, sir.”

*

Nyota takes the entrance exams for Starfleet not even a week after her degree is hanging on her wall. She scores perfects on every single one of them and strolls out of the testing center with the urge to pump her fist. She does not, though, because there are a hundred prospective cadets milling around, and she might be in command of them some day.

The Academy is a lot of work, but Nyota pulls through in three years instead of four, despite her mother berating her for working too hard. Teresa disappears somewhere in there, unable to handle the pressure Nyota puts herself under.

Her first commission is on a ship in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, as one of the doctors likes to say. Nyota ends up sitting next to him sometimes at meal times, because he doesn’t talk a lot, but when he does, he almost always makes her laugh.

It’s been a long time since someone made her laugh quite so often. She thinks it was Samantha, when she was fifteen.

His name is Leonard McCoy, but his friend who always verges on the edge of obnoxious calls him Bones.

“Leonard is fine,” he says, rolling his eyes and shoving Ensign Kirk with his shoulder.

“Lieutenant Uhura will suffice,” she says with a smirk. She makes sure Kirk is watching when she walks to the garbage receptacle. If McCoy- Leonard- is watching, no matter. She just wants to drag Kirk along. He seems fun to mess with.

Kirk is standing outside her quarters two nights later. Nyota smiles politely and shuts her door in his face.

She greets Leonard with unusual gusto in the morning. 

Nyota isn’t looking for a relationship, she says, and she means it. If Leonard ends up in her bed a couple of times- maybe more than a couple- over the course of the year, it’s mostly because she can’t trust anyone else to keep their mouth shut about her business. 

*

Nyota Uhura has never had time for people who waste  _ her _ time. Which is why, at three years old, she takes her sandwich from her mother and eats it before her mother can finish cutting it into triangles.

“Don’t need triangles,” she says.

Karama Uhura stands there open mouthed, the knife still poised over the table. “Nyota,” she finally admonishes. “That was not polite.”

Nyota rolls her eyes. “Mama, I don’t need triangles. Thank you.”

*

Nyota Uhura receives her promotion to lieutenant commander near the end of her two year stint on the  _ Yardly. _ It involves an intense standoff with nineteen Klingons and five crew members dead.

Leonard raises his eyebrows at her when his hands are inside Captain Cor’s thoracic cavity, his sleeves purple up to his elbows. Nyota nods, once, and leaves to negotiate the peace talks. She passes the stiff body of First Officer Synto on her way out, her spine straightening ever so slightly as her eyes slide over the white sheet.

Her face is marble when the medal is pinned to her dress uniform; granite when she salutes Admiral Gestalt; sandstone when she takes the shuttle back to her temporary quarters on the Academy campus.

It’s only when the door of her apartment slides shut that she allows herself to cry. Commander Synto had taken Nyota under his wing after their first altercation with hostiles and offered nothing but support and good advice. Watching him die was perhaps the most terrifying experience she had ever had, especially because that left her the highest ranking officer in an incredibly tense situation. 

She rubs her thumb over the silver of her new rank stripe once the tears are gone. It’ll take some getting used to, but not long. It won’t be long before she’ll get promoted again.

*

At six, Nyota takes charge on the playground. Her teachers tell her mother that Nyota has been bossing around the other kids again, while Nyota stands- hands on her hips- and stares straight ahead.

Karama sighs and tells Ms. Okafor that she’ll have a talk with Nyota.

On the bus ride home, Karama asks Nyota if she was telling her friends what to do.

“Of course I was, Mama. They need someone to tell them what to do.” Nyota kicks her feet under her seat and stares out the window.

“Nyota, you’re six. What do you need to tell them to do?”

“How to be nice to each other,” Nyota says. She still isn’t looking at her mother. “Can we have ice cream tonight?”

Karama feels like all she does with her daughter is sigh. “After dinner. Nyota,” she says a little sharply.

Her daughter finally looks at her. “What, Mama?”

“You need to be nice to your friends too.”

Nyota nods. “Okay, Mama.”

*

Her next mission is three years on a slightly larger ship, the  _ Farragut. _ She meets Lieutenant Commander Spock there. There’s a few months when she thinks he’s staring at her a little intensely over padds of data, but he never says anything to make her uncomfortable, so they just drink tea together sometimes and converse in Vulcan.

She makes commander with Spock two weeks before they’re due back at HQ due to an altercation with Orion pirates.

Her dress uniform is starting to feel slightly heavy when she picks it up. The extra stripe looks nice, too.

*

Nyota loves being first officer on the  _ Carraway _ . She’s so close to her own captaincy, she can taste it. 

Except she isn’t. 

Now is when the ceiling hits her hardest, the glass smearing from her touch.

It's four years on the  _ Carraway _ as first officer. And then another four under Captain Trent. After she’s done there, she’s pulled home for teaching.

James T. Kirk made captain at twenty-seven. Nyota is thirty-two. 

She watches the anger boil in her veins as her students file into her classroom. God, she hates these fucking classrooms after so many years away. The brown of the walls makes her yearn for the sleek lines of a starship around her, stars running away beneath her feet. She manages to make it the full two hours without incident. That is, until one of her students raises their hand.

“Commander Uhura?”

Nyota pauses with her tea halfway to her mouth. “Yes, Cadet?”

“Why are you wearing your medals, sir? I haven’t seen any of the other instructors wear theirs.”

Nyota grits her molars together slowly before replying. “Cadet, what is your name?”

“Bilar,” the cadet croaks, suddenly turning a wonderful shade of lavender.

“Cade Bilar,” Nyota enunciates, amidst students shuffling as they get ready to leave. “Has asked an excellent question. I would suggest you pay attention to my answer, especially if you happen to be female. But first, before I answer, does anyone know how many female captains Starfleet has had?”

An Orion shoots her hand into the air, her curls shining golden in the artificial lighting. “Cadet Gaila, sir,” she says. “And there are no female captains.”

“Thank you, Cadet Gaila. You are correct.” Nyota tries not to sound too bitter, but the reality of the matter is, she’s got enough bitterness to make a  _ yonsavas _ look sweet. “Command decided my above average performance and multiple commendations were not enough to offer me a position as captain of my own vessel. This is undoubtedly due to my gender, as no man has served as first officer so long and so well without receiving their commission of choice.”

Nyota thinks of Spock, somewhere in the Delta Quadrant with Kirk. She knows Spock chose to be his captain’s first officer, and would not wish his own command, not when he could be close to the man who drew everyone into his gravity. She knows Kirk deserves his ship, knows that the man is brilliant and kind in every way a captain should be. It’s only that he’s a white man and she’s a black woman, and she did not work her ass off to make commander so quickly to be passed over like this.

“I wear my commendations to show my superiors what they have passed over. I will not submit quietly.”

Gaila walks up to her afterwards, shouldering through the crush of students. “Thank you, Commander Uhura, for standing up for what you believe in.”

Nyota finds herself smiling despite herself. “I will continue to do so until I am captain of my own ship.”

The next class, Gaila has red hair. She asks five questions and Nyota answers all of them in detail.

*

It turns out the Academy is full of women who have been jilted by Command for captaincies. Nyota meets with them on Wednesday nights after her evening class. They drink and complain about the sexism that remains pervasive despite how long Starfleet has been around.

Nyota keeps wearing her medals, despite the stares she receives from her fellow instructors. The women in her group start doing it too. And then women who aren’t in their group join in, until the instructor committees are flashing with gold and silver as female officers take their seats.

Command figures out that it was her that started it, and she’s called to HQ the week of finals. She stands in front of the row of men, her head held high and medals pinned exactly.

“Commander Uhura, are you aware of why we have summoned you here today?” Admiral Gant is nearly seventy-eight, and his voice isn’t as strong as it used to be. Not that it matters when his skin is paper thin and paper white.

“I am not, sir,” she says. She isn’t lying. There’s absolutely nothing she’s done wrong or out of line.

“It has come to our attention that every female member of our staff has been wearing their medals and commendations, even though it is policy to reserve those for special occasions or promotions.”

_ I really don’t give a shit about your policy, _ Nyota thinks, and smiles sweetly. “There is no rule forbidding the wearing of them at other times, sir.”

“But it isn’t done,” Admiral Costello pipes up.

*

Nyota decides she’s going to Starfleet at eight. She informs her mother of this immediately. Karama just nods. She would expect nothing less from her only child.

“It’s dangerous up there,” she says. It is not to discourage her daughter. Karama knows that whatever Nyota sets her mind on, she will do.

“I know,” Nyota says, her small hands tapping on her padd. “I’m going to be a captain of my very own ship.”

“Nyota, honey, there’s never been a female captain before.”

Nyota’s eyes meet her mother’s. They are full of fire. “Then I’ll be the first.”

*

“Excuse me, sir,” Nyota pauses, letting the anger flow to the tip of her tongue. It’s coiled in her breast all these months- no, years- and she is done. She is so  _ fucking done. _ “You know what else isn’t  _ done? _ Giving a woman command of her own vessel. I’m thirty-three,  _ sir. _ Thirty fucking three, and I’ve been one of the best officers in the ‘Fleet for years. And what’s  _ done _ for me, after everything I have accomplished? I’m pulled home to rot in a classroom.” 

Nyota pauses for breath. Her hands are shaking. It’s not from worry about what Command will do to her. It’s fury radiating through every bone of her body. Several admirals look like they’re about to speak. She starts talking again, her voice stronger than her bones.

“No, you don’t get to tell me that I’m wrong. I’m right, damn it, and you’re going to listen to me. James Tiberius Kirk, captain at twenty-seven. At the time, I had three commendations he did not, and a further two years experience in deep space. Ilya Petrinsky made captain at twenty-four, straight out of the Academy. You, Admiral Costello, were twenty-eight and had half my decorations. Admiral Pike, you were a little older, at almost thirty, but with similar experience to my own. 

I am demanding what is rightfully owed to me. I will not be your poster child for the Academy any longer. I expect three commissions in my inbox by the time I leave this room, or every female officer in Starfleet walks with me. If you all wanted me so fucking much when I was younger, you should have thought this far about how high I scored on the leadership simulation.”

Nyota hasn’t planned this. It just flies out of her mouth, but she knows it to be true. 

The only man not currently open mouthed is Pike, who has his head thrown back in laughter. He finally composes himself after a minute.

“Commander Uhura,” he says, wiping a tear from his eye. “I’ve only been a member of this board for three months, and I think this will be the most memorable day of my entire time here. Well, gentlemen, Commander Uhura is getting her raise, and I don’t give a damn if I have to forge your signatures. I’m assuming we have a few other women who have been passed over for captaincy that need a job?”

Nyota snorts. “A few.”

Pike starts typing on his padd immediately while several of the other men just stare at her. They’ve finally closed their mouths, which is good, because Nyota has been ogled enough for her entire goddamn life.

“I’m going to need your signature right here, Commander Uhura,” Pike says after a few minutes. “And then the rest of these men can sign off on us commissioning our first female captain. It’s an honor, sir,” he says, and shakes her hand.

Nyota watches while the silent men sign off on her life-long dream. She is not happy. The anger has maybe left her; she isn’t sure. She just knows that this should have happened a long time ago. A long, long time ago.

She slams into a tall figure on the way out of HQ, too busy processing that her not-a-plan actually worked to notice the man coming her direction.

It’s Leonard, and Nyota wishes she could take back the “Oh, fuck” that slips from her mouth the moment she recognizes that drawl.

He raises an eyebrow. “Not likely in our current surroundings-” His eyes flick to her sleeves. “-Commander Uhura.”

Nyota suppresses her laughter and adjusts her ponytail. “It’s been awhile. I was just surprised.”

Leonard nods. “Almost eight years.” 

He’s not quite looking at her. Either that, or he’s looking at her a little too closely. Nyota can’t decide.

“I’ve seen you around with Kirk,” she says, but it’s only been on the one newsreel and in two papers after all this time.

Leonard rubs the back of his neck with his hand. He’s still in his science blues, so he must be on shore leave or something. Nyota can’t exactly remember when the  _ Enterprise _ ’s mission finishes.

“I was wondering where you’d gotten to when I didn’t get the usual ‘Fleet flyer about what Uhura has done next in this corner of the galaxy.”

Nyota feels suddenly bashful, which is bullshit, because she has never once been shy about how good of an officer she is. “They hauled me off to teach when they couldn’t handle my femininity being the face of Starfleet’s best and brightest anymore,” she says, as casually as she can. “But I’m getting my own ship in the spring.”

Leonard smiles. “If anybody could crack the bullshit of Command, you would. I might have to see what you’re getting up to. Jim and Spock are off on that godawful desert planet Spock calls home for six months before shipping out again.”

Nyota raises her eyebrows. “You left Jim? You two were practically attached at the hip.”

Leonard nods and waves his hand. “He’s still my best friend, but he’s young and wild and puts himself in more danger than it’s worth. He’s got Spock to take care of him now, so I might give them a little room.” 

His voice sounds almost wistful and Nyota finds herself placing her hand on his arm. “They didn’t say anything to you, did they?” The idea of Leonard feeling displaced rubs her the wrong way.

“No, no,” Leonard says. “Spock and I are on as good terms as can be expected when he’s got a ruler shoved up his ass. I’m just getting old, and I want something a little different than the perpetual danger Jim places himself in. I’ve told him, and he’s mad, but he gets it. Besides, if anyone can deal with Jim, it’s Christine Chapel.”

“Okay,” Nyota says, softer than she’s planning. It’s been not quite eight years, and it’s not like she’s been a nun since then, but Leonard is still the last person who carried her laughter to bed. “Do you want to get some coffee or something?” she asks, not sure what she’s going to do if he says yes.

“Yes,” he says, zero hesitation in his voice.

Nyota realizes her hand is still on his arm. She withdraws it, the soft feeling of his blues lingering on her skin.

“I-” She stops as soon as she starts. Leonard is staring at her medals, or maybe just her chest. She isn’t sure, and it doesn’t matter right now. “We can just go to my quarters,” she finds herself saying.

Leonard raises his eyebrow. “You never beat around the bush, Commander.”

Nyota shakes her head, her earrings hitting her cheek. “That’s not what I meant. Just that the cafeteria has shitty food and I’ve got some really good coffee programmed into my replicator.”

Except they do end up in her bed somehow. Nyota isn’t sure if it’s the look he gives her as he takes the mug of coffee from her hand, or the way his fingertips brushed the back of her hand. Maybe it was the tilt of her neck as she pressed the button on her replicator, or the way Leonard’s blues fit him exactly right, that high collar itching to be unzipped and his pale neck marked.

Whatever it was, Nyota doesn’t care, not when his fingers feel  _ exactly _ as good as she remembered.

“Doctor’s hands,” she laughs into his mouth, a heavy breath out and sharp inhale.

Leonard doesn’t say a word, just smiles slow and sweet and starts kissing a line down her neck.

*

Leonard doesn’t really have a place to stay figured out yet, so Nyota ends up inviting him to stay with her until he figures it out, even though she’s never lived with anyone she’s ever been in a relationship with, and it’s not like this is a relationship. It’s just sex- Even if it’s absolutely incredible sex that makes Nyota never want to have sex with anyone else ever again.

Her commission is finalized a week after finals, and Leonard goes out drinking with her to celebrate. Her friends come too, to toast the new captain of the  _ Dauntless. _

“Captain Uhura,” Lt. Commander Michelle Cravey ends up yelling, three Cardassian Sunrises and a conquered table into the night. Everyone in the bar can see up her skirt, but she’s wearing Starfleet issue boxers, so she could care less. “To the future of Starfleet.”

Somehow, Nyota ends up in Leonard’s lap long before midnight, and somehow, she ends up leaving with him a few minutes after. It’s not like she doesn’t like a good party with her friends, and it’s not like the ecstatic feeling of being a Captain hasn’t hit her with full force. 

It’s just slightly more appealing to be called Captain Uhura in bed with Leonard.

*

Nyota goes home for Christmas, because it’s been too many years spending Christmas with Karama and Bibi on the screen of her padd. 

“Don’t fuck up my apartment,” she mock warns Leonard. “I’m staff, even if I’m vacating in a couple of weeks. I’ve got to leave them with a good opinion of me.”

“I have no plans that involve fucking while you’re gone,” Leonard says, very seriously, and Nyota almost misses her shuttle because she has no self-control when it comes to this man.

*

Karama hugs Nyota so tightly she swears she can feel her bones cracking. 

“My beautiful daughter has come, a captain at last,” her mother says, and when Nyota pulls away, there are tears in Karama’s eyes. 

Nyota’s grin overwhelms her face. “I told you, Mom. I told you I was going to be the first.”

Karama cradles her face between her hands and kisses her daughter’s forehead. “I never doubted it for a second, Nyota. Not for a single moment.”

Bibi asks if Nyota has anyone. Nyota shakes her head. “You know my career is first, Bibi. I’m good.”

“I liked that Teresa girl,” Bibi says, her eyebrows dancing on her forehead. 

“Bibi, Teresa didn’t want to stay earthside while I was in the black. And she didn’t want to come into the black with me. There wasn’t much I could do.” Nyota hasn’t even thought about Teresa in years.

Bibi hmmphs and turns to the stove.

*

Leonard meets her at the San Francisco shuttleport, his hair a mess and his jeans hung just low enough Nyota wants to tug them off completely.

“Guess who’s your CMO,” he says, his face oddly contorted.

“Really?” Nyota feels suddenly relieved. Maybe this means her sex life isn’t going to abruptly return to its former state.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured about anything,” Leonard says, grabbing for her duffel. “I mean- I was kind of assuming this was whatever and it would end when we both went off into space.”

“No,” Nyota says quickly. “I was too.”

And if she clings to him a little tightly that night, it’s because she’s feeling slightly homesick.

*

Nyota’s first officer is a Bajoran named Jak Hieran. He’s no-nonsense and two inches shorter than Nyota, but it seems like they’ll get along well enough.

Leonard kisses her cheek right before they ship out. It’s the last time he touches her for two hundred and seventy-six days.


	2. Part two

The first night in her quite roomy captain’s quarters- honestly, they’re like twice the size of the first officer’s- Nyota cannot sleep. Her sheets are soft and her bed is comfortable. She’s tired, and tomorrow is a long day. It’s only after she’s been lying there for an hour that she realizes it’s because Leonard isn’t next to her.

It does not matter. Nyota has a job to do, as he does, and relationships are not conducive to the life she wants to live.

She does not see him often, because she’s too busy being a diplomatic ferry to have free time. Even her meals are not sacred. Diplomats crowd into her quarters and drink her wine nearly every night.

Being Starfleet’s first female captain means a lot of fucking paperwork and a hell of a lot more of her decisions being questioned by Command. When she’s on the eighteenth call in a week with Command, Nyota realizes her nails have been digging into her palms so tightly the crescent-shaped imprints will not fade for twenty minutes.

She will endure a certain amount of oversight because of what she represents and what she has fought for. If this is what it takes so that other women can helm their own ships, she will tolerate it for now.

Nyota lasts a two hundred and seventy days of it- the calls, the constant review of her logs in real time, the absolute buffoonery- before she snaps.

Admiral Pike catches the brunt of her wrath, which he sits through without comment. “I understand your frustrations, and I will do everything in my power to make sure you are treated equally. Also, Kirk has put in word that he would like to know if there’s anything he can do for you.”

Nyota blinks. Of course Kirk has. “I do not believe so. All my current issues are from overhead, sir.”

She doesn’t mind calling Pike sir.

Pike smiles and nods. “I’m sure you can tell him that yourself. I believe you are scheduled for shore leave on Tryel II at the same time as his crew.”

“Yes,” Nyota says. “We are. I’m sure Doctor McCoy will be thrilled about that.”

Pike laughs. “Good night, Captain Uhura.”

“Goodnight, sir.”

Nyota stares at the black screen and taps her fingernails on her desk. She and Leonard haven’t spoken other than in greeting since they shipped out. Sometimes they end up on turbolifts together, but that’s not very often, and Leonard never gives her more than a quick glance.

She wonders if he misses her. She shouldn’t entertain the thought. It was fun while it lasted, and they both have jobs to do.

*

Shore leave is a welcome rest. Kirk and his crew are in the same hotel as them, because Starfleet insists (or maybe it was just Kirk). The captain swoops Leonard into a bear hug, while Spock says, “Hello, Leonard.”

Spock offers Nyota the ta’al, which she returns. Kirk shakes her hand vigorously. Leonard’s arm brushes Nyota’s briefly as he steps to the side. She can feel it for a minute after he is gone.

“Captain Uhura. I always knew the day would come. I got a recording of your meeting with Command, and I couldn’t be more proud of you. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.” He smiles, broad and genuine, before releasing her hand.

Spock is standing perhaps a little closer than necessary. “Jim,” he says softly. “I would like to speak with Captain Uhura.”

Kirk nods and steps back. Nyota watches him sling his arm around Leonard and start chattering.

“Is Leonard well?”

Nyota is surprised, not by Spock’s bluntness, but by Spock’s actual question. “As far as I know. We aren’t-” She isn’t sure how to quantify her relationship with the doctor. She settles for “close.”

Spock quirks an eyebrow. “That is not evident from the way he looks at you. I enquired after his health because he has not been replying to my messages as frequently or with as much vigor as he normally does. He also refuses to answer my enquiries after his reasons for his behavior.”

Nyota’s breath catches for a moment. _The way he looks at you._

“I really don’t know,” she says, trying to process what Spock of all people could see that she’s been missing. “Maybe Kirk can get it out of him.”

“I confess I do not understand the nuances of Jim and Leonard’s friendship, but it is a privilege to know both of them, so I do not need to. Jim has promised me a surprise, so I must pull him away from Leonard now. I trust we shall see each other again soon, Nyota.”

It’s been years since they were well-acquainted enough to call each other by first names, but it is no less pleasant to hear the syllables of her name framed by Spock’s tongue. There’s a certain roundness to his voice when he is relaxed, and she hears it now; sees it in the way his hands do not tighten when he approaches Jim and Leonard and his posture is ever so slightly looser.

Leonard does not approach her after Jim and Spock leave, presumably to fuck each other into the mattress. Nyota does not watch him leave. She is too busy informing Hieran that he is not to enforce behavioral code while they are on shore leave.

“If you don’t want to watch your crewmates have fun, stay in your room,” she says, wishing that the guy would just loosen up a little.

“I am expecting to do just that, sir,” he says.

*

Nyota parties with the biologists, because the science people know how to have a good time, for some reason. She never drinks more than two drinks, both because she’s getting old and also because she doesn’t want to do something stupid like sleep with an ensign and have them file a complaint with Command just to get her captaincy revoked.

So Nyota dances and plays poker and loses a few more credits than she wants to, but it doesn’t matter, because she’s captain of her own fucking ship. There’s more paperwork than she thought, but she loves what she does.

Leonard doesn’t go partying, but she doesn’t expect him to. He is older, after all. He does come swimming in the huge pool. Nyota pretends she isn’t watching his chest ripple as he dives in, or the muscles in his back shift as he swims. She has a book on her padd anyways, so she has an excuse to sit by the pool for hours in the soft light of Tryel II’s twins suns that never fully set.

Leonard has a really nice body. Nyota isn’t sure she’s actually ever told him that, but she hopes he knows how much she appreciates it. Not that she has a right honestly, not after their parting and their not-a-relationship.

Nyota thinks about the way Leonard looks when he wakes up in the morning. It’s the wrong thing to think about when he is climbing out of the pool and walking towards her, because she isn’t even pretending to be reading her book right now.

Leonard stops in front of her chair and sets his hands on his hips. “You can’t fucking watch me like that and refuse to even talk to me,” he says, but there is no animosity in his voice. It’s almost tender actually, soft even on the profanity.

Nyota adjusts her sunglasses and tries not to watch the water dripping down Leonard’s torso. Not that it matters- he can’t see where her eyes are focused.

“Excuse me?” she says, because she is genuinely confused about what exactly her CMO wants from her.

“You’ve been watching me,” Leonard says, and this time it is accusing. He jabs his finger at her before crossing his arms. “You can’t do that.”

Nyota cocks her head. “Oh? I wasn’t aware it was illegal to find someone attractive.”

The look on his face almost makes her burst out laughing.

“Nyota,” he says, and it’s almost helpless. “Are we going to do this for forever?”

She swallows, the urge to laugh fleeing as suddenly as it came. She sits up a little straighter, suddenly feeling self-conscious about her appearance. It’s stupid and idiotic, and it’s not like Leonard hasn’t done some absolutely filthy things to her.

“Would you like to have this discussion or whatever it is somewhere where crew members will not overhear?”

It seems like the right thing to say, and Nyota has always been good at saying the right thing. Leonard seems to agree because he sighs and waits for her to gather her things before they go into the hotel.

Nyota stands in the turbolift, uncertain exactly whose room they are going to until Leonard says “Sixty-three.” Her room is on the sixty-eighth floor, with most of engineering, for some reason.

Leonard’s room is tidy and clean, his bag on the chair by the bed. He’s always been cleaner than her.

She feels as if this is either going to end with a strict professional acquaintance or something she is scared to name.

“I have a daughter,” Leonard says. It’s not what she’s expecting him to say, not at all.

“Oh.”

“Her name is Joanna. She’s twenty this October. Looks just like her mother.” Leonard’s hands are clenched, and she isn’t sure why.

“Her mother?” Nyota met him before his wedding ring tan faded, but she wonders exactly how involved she is in Leonard’s life. Not that it’s any of her business.

“Joss remarried over a decade ago.” Leonard waves his hand. “Look, what I’m trying to say is- I’m forty-five. I don’t want to fuck around. I was fine if you just wanted to have some fun before, but goddamn it if I can’t get you out of my head. Nyota,” he says, and his hands fly up. “I think of you every night when I close my eyes. I think of you when I’m eating lunch and when I’m getting dressed. I can’t- I can’t do this dancing around each other like what we had was nothing. I mean- it can’t be nothing if we found each other again after eight years apart.”

He falls silent, his hand running through his hair. Nyota feels a little at a loss for words.

“I’m never going to leave the stars,” she says slowly. She grabs his free hand with her own, interlacing their fingers.

“I know that,” Leonard exhales. “I would never ask you to.”

“You kind of hate space.” Nyota giggles as his thumb rubs over the back of her palm.

“I don’t hate you,” he says, and it’s maybe a confession, and maybe something she would expect Spock to say, but not Leonard.

“Is this the part where we kiss?” Nyota asks playfully, tugging on his arm slightly.

Leonard pulls her closer, the muscles in his torso rippling.

“Spock said you looked at me a certain way,” she says, right before his lips close over hers.

“Why would you bring him now?” Leonard pulls away slightly to give her a look of confusion.

“Shut up,” Nyota says, and tugs his head down to hers.

*

It’s dinner time when they emerge from Leonard’s room. Nyota makes him accompany her to her room to get some proper clothes. He spends five whole minutes just watching her change her earrings and tidy her hair.

“What?” Nyota asks him when she’s putting on her shoes.

“You are always so beautiful,” Leonard says. “Always.”

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and stands. “Do you want to go down to dinner together, or do you want to wait?”

Leonard’s hand slides down her arm. “I don’t want to fuck around,” he says firmly.

“Okay,” Nyota replies. She’s a private person and always has been, but if this is what Leonard wants, she’ll give it to him. They’re both too old to sneak around anyways.

Spock doesn’t look the least bit surprised when they come to dinner together. Jim’s eyebrows rise impossibly high at the sight of their intertwined hands.

“Is there something I’ve been missing?” he asks, leaning away from Spock temporarily.

“No,” Nyota says. “Not really.”

“You going to tell me what’s going on, Bones?”

Leonard sits down and places his arm around Nyota’s shoulders. “What, do you want me to spell it out for you?”

Spock sighs- or at least, what Nyota knows to be his sigh. “Jim, it is obvious that Leonard and Nyota have decided to stop wistfully staring at each other.”

Jim’s eyebrows haven’t come down yet. “They were doing that?”

“Yes,” Spock says firmly.

“Huh,” Jim says. “Well, I’m glad you worked through it. Does this mean I can call you Nyota now?”

Nyota actually thinks about it for a moment. “Yes,” she says carefully. “But this privilege can be revoked at any time.”

Jim raises his free hand placatingly. “Understood.”

The rest of dinner is somehow more peaceful than Nyota is expecting. Leonard’s arm around her causes more than a few looks, but her crew seems to know that she does not take questions about her personal life.

Jim asks when they got together after the tables have started to empty, crewmembers drifting in pairs or groups towards the bank of turbolifts.

Nyota smiles. “Remember the first time we met?”

Jim looks slightly horrified. “You’ve been together that long? Wait, no that can’t be right.”

“No, of course it hasn’t been that long. We just-” Nyota clears her throat. “That was the first time we considered the thought of being together.”

“And we met again when you and Spock were off doing your fancy Vulcan marriage,” Leonard says. “We weren’t together when we shipped out.”

Jim and Spock raise their right eyebrows in unison. Nyota can’t help the laugh that bubbles in her throat. Leonard sighs.

“We’re together now,” he says firmly. “And that’s all that matters.”

Jim says, “I see. So there hasn’t been some big secret or anything?”

Spock stands, Jim’s hand in his. “There has not,” he says drily. “Leonard was demonstrating behavior otherwise at the beginning of leave.”

“Spock,” Jim says, almost whining. “Why won’t you tell me this shit? You know everything, and it’s really annoying.”

“You could be aware of such things too, if you paid attention.”

“I do, Spock. I don’t know how you, a half-human, catch human interactions I miss all the damn time?”

Nyota watches them banter as they walk to the ‘lifts. She does not miss the way Jim leans into Spock a fraction of a second before the doors shut. She looks at Leonard, who is already looking at her.

“Shall we go upstairs?” she asks, staring at his mouth.

“Seems like a good plan,” Leonard replies, and kisses her softly.

*

Leonard moves into her quarters when they’re finished with shore leave. He yields his to his head nurse and her wife, who are more than happy with the extra space.

Nyota sleeps better now that’s he’s in her bed again. Command is still irritating, but they have backed off some. She feels as if her life has become something she could not even dream of- that someone would deign to spend their years with her amongst the stars

Leonard takes her to meet Joanna at the end of their mission. She’s in med school, wanting to follow in her parents’ footsteps. Joanna greets Nyota warmly, even if she does appear to be lacking a decent amount of sleep.

“Dad’s talked some about you, but not nearly enough,” the younger woman says. “Tell me what it’s like up there, outside the med bay.”

Joanna listens while Nyota explains life in the black as well as she can to someone who has no plans of ever spending a part of her life there.

“I don’t think I could be so isolated,” Jo- she insisted- says. “I like the comfort of earth to stand on.”

“You and your mother,” Leonard says, his hand resting on the small of Nyota’s back.

“Speaking of, are you going to see her and Harry?"

Leonard shoots his daughter a strange look. “I hadn’t discussed it with Nyota yet.”

“I think Mom wanted to meet Nyota,” Jo says, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“I’d like to,” Nyota says suddenly. “If that’s alright, Len.”

“Okay,” he says.

Jo raises her eyebrows. “You’re going to be civil, right?”

“I haven’t done anything to the contrary since that Christmas when you were eight, Jo. I’m an adult.” Leonard crosses his arms. “Now stop trying to parent your own father.”

*

It’s a little awkward for Nyota to meet a woman who is everything that she is not. Jocelyn is tall, blonde and more than a little curvaceous. She is also loud and eager to give Nyota a loose hug.

“So wonderful to meet you,” Jocelyn gushes. “I’m glad Len’s found someone. This is my Harold.” She gestures at her husband, who somehow seems exactly like Nyota thought he would be.

Harold shakes her hand firmly. Leonard’s own hand has not left her back.

“Jocelyn. Harold,” he says, and it’s the first time Nyota thinks she’s ever heard Len be downright cold to someone. “Good to see you again.”

Dinner is painfully awkward, and Nyota wishes she were anywhere but here, listening to Harold talk about his vintage car business and Jocelyn repeatedly ask if Nyota and Len are going to get married.

Len’s jaw has been twitching for a solid twenty minutes when Nyota finally decides to do something. She pulls her comm from her pocket and pretends to have gotten a message before smiling apologetically to their hosts.

“I’m so sorry, Jocelyn, but we’re going to have to cut dinner short.”

Jocelyn pastes on a quick smile. “Oh dear. Well it was nice getting to know you. Take care of Len, now.”

Nyota wants to tear Leonard’s name from this woman’s mouth. She has been trained in diplomacy, though, so she says, “Of course!” before practically running out the door.

She sits in the car with Leonard, not moving to turn it on.

“I’m sorry, but how the fuck did you tolerate that woman long enough to get married to her and have a child with her?”

Len snorts. “Believe me, I’m just as clueless as you.”

“Why did your marriage fall apart?” Nyota turns to look at him in the glow from the street lamp.

“Three reasons. First, she decided that her job was more important than mine. Second, she decided I was cheating on her even though I wasn’t, and third, I realized that the relationship was incredibly toxic and I was done dealing with her bullshit.”

“Oh, Len.” Nyota’s hand finds his and she squeezes it. “I hated that she still calls you Len.”

“Me too,” he says. “But she refuses to call me anything else. She acts like we’re on decent terms. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

“I kind of wanted to take her in there,” Nyota confesses. “Honestly, how does she talk so much? How does she tolerate such a boring man?”

“They deserve each other,” Leonard says. “Now can we go back to the hotel and pretend that didn’t happen?”

“Yes,” Nyota says emphatically. “Also, if Jocelyn mentioned marriage one more time, I’m pretty sure I would have ripped her hair out.”

“You don’t want to be married?”

“No. I have you and that’s good enough for me. If we ever need benefits or something, I’ll do it, but that’s the only reason why.” She steals a glance at Len. He’s not as relaxed as he normally is, and she’s angry that Jocelyn got such a rise out of him.

“Once was enough for me,” Len says. And then, “I was kinda hoping you would say something about that.”

“Jocelyn and Harold can go fuck themselves,” Nyota says, laughing. “I’m quite content to just love you and have that be that.”

Leonard’s hand is warm and comforting on her thigh. “Agreed.”

*

Nyota and Leonard do not leave the black until their hair has been long gray and their skin is wrinkled and thin. They find a house in San Francisco, and Nyota is at last a part of Command. She almost whoops when she gets the plaque with Admiral Uhura on it. There are three other women with her.

Leonard is, as ever, proud. Nyota is, as ever, just as in love with him as she has been all these years. Her home has been among the stars for so many years, but there’s something to be said for a quiet house with the love of her life at the end of a long day.

Jim and Spock retire to Vulcan, but Nyota and Leonard visit them twice a year, even if Len complains the entire time about being surrounded by goddamn Vulcans and their logic.

Nyota has lived a good life. It has been better since Leonard came to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spock? Is a knowing bitch. Jim? Clueless. Always.
> 
> Anyways, this was a lot of fun to write, and honestly, I wish I'd written more. No promises, though.

**Author's Note:**

> Part two will be up in a couple of days!! Definitely Sunday at the latest!


End file.
